The Lives We've Lived
by nikki.ntm
Summary: A collection of filled prompts for AkuSai Month 2014. Genre and length vary.
1. 01 Serendipity

**AKUSAI MONTH: BERSERK  
Day 01: Your OTP Quote**

I have lived  
a thousand lives  
and I've loved you in each

**- Nikki, accidentally mashing one poem and a quote together**

**Length: **~1800**  
Genre: **Rom/Com**  
Summary:** A small chain of random events paves the way for a meeting between two kindred souls.

* * *

**Serendipity**

Lea's sister, Jamie, had found her calling looking up at the stars through the lens of astrology. It had opened a door to everything considered new age. She believed in almost everything that transcended the traditional views on life and death, and she was always in search for new knowledge that reaffirmed her believes. Practicing her beliefs in a small town like the one they had grown up in was anything but easy. Having Lea near had helped. He became her guinea pig in everything from aroma therapy to Reiki. Regression was one of the things she loved the most. It was her definite proof that there was something beyond death and something before life. She had tried to convince Lea to do a session, but handling one life was enough. He didn't need the weight of more lives to carry on his shoulders.

With his mind partly filled with superstition and existential ideas he didn't understand, Lea went on with his life. At the age of thirty, he found his first real apartment. It was an okay apartment at an okay location, far away from Jamie's collective of friends who were just as into the whole new age hype as she was. Lea thought he'd love it, being on his own, and he did, for the first two weeks. It took him thirty years to realize how much he enjoyed being around people he liked, people like Jamie and her friends. He didn't say anything about it to anyone. He was under the impression that people his age should want a place of their own, and it was time to be like everyone else.

Lea walked out of his building, phone against his ear, shivering at the cold breeze that came with the drizzle of rain. He rolled his eyes at his sister's concerned tone of voice on the other end.

"No, I'm getting dinner now. Besides, it's an hour's drive to your place. I'll starve."

The universe had been telling on him again. Jamie knew that her baby brother was feeling blue and had been trying to convince him to come over for dinner the past three days.

"It's not fast food, alright? I saw a convenience store down the block. They probably have organically grown vegetables and veggie patties. Worst case scenario, I have canned tuna for dinner."

Boy, had that been the wrong thing to say. At least he didn't have to say anything else. Jamie took care of the conversation all the way to the convenience store. Tuna fish was a dying species. Lea's family were not partaking in the extinction of any animal in the world, not if Jamie could stop it.

Lea managed to get off the phone right as he entered the small convenience store. He'd have to walk in sideways to not tip things over. A cheerful song crackled through the old and small speakers in the store. Lea glanced at the cashier before he walked into the vegetable section. The cashier seemed far too interested in his cuticles to take notice of Lea. He leaned back in his chair and yawned while he reached for a pack of gum in the front pocket of his bright red uniform as soon as he got tired of looking at his nails. He was quite a remarkable sight with his blueish hair, his gaudy uniform and the bright pink bubble he blew bigger and bigger until it popped over half his face.

Lea chuckled quietly to himself, walking slowly through the small store and filled his cart with familiar and healthy vegetables, some fruit, frozen veggie patties, sodium-free hummus and whole wheat bread. By the time he made it to the check-out, the cashier had fallen asleep on the cash register, or so it seemed. He quickly sat back up when he heard Lea pick up his items.

"Evening," he said tiredly.

Lea simply nodded, a small smile on his lips. His eyes fell on the cashier's worn and scratchy name tag: Isa. Beautiful name. He'd have to remember it for later, when his tongue untied.

"Do you have problems with your cholesterol levels?" Isa asked with a deadpan expression.

"Sorry, what?"

"Your cholesterol levels, are they bad?"

"I, uh, I don't think so…"

"You eat like my grandmother. She started this new diet when she found out her cholesterol levels were too high. No animal products. Just vegetables, fruits, legumes."

"Yeah?"

"The nurses at the home complained about it. The diet made her gassy."

Lea tried to stifle a laugh, but failed and quickly cleared his throat to hide it.

"Sorry, I - I didn't mean to laugh. I don't, uh, get gassy eating this. I'm used to it. Eating, I mean."

"That's 41.50." Isa smiled politely.

Lea quickly dug into his pocket and eyed the change he found. He counted the coins slowly with slightly trembling fingers and reached into his other pocket for some badly folded bills.

"Here you go - oops!" Lea dropped a coin and it rolled over the edge and onto the floor on Isa's side. He was reaching new levels of clumsiness. It wasn't difficult for him to talk to people. He loved talking to people, especially when he had the chance to leave a good impression. It didn't show now. His mouth was dry and he kept rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly as he apologized for dropping the coin and watched Isa look for it. A part of him blamed Isa for being gorgeous and for catching him off-guard with the topic he had chosen to break the ice with.

Lea noticed a poor-looking shelf with a large sale sign advertising the movie collection the store had to offer. Buy two, pay for one. He didn't want to leave yet. He wanted to make a good impression on Isa to have something to build on when he came in the next time, and the time after that. The urge to make it happen was slightly frightening.

"You've got any good movies over there?" Lea asked.

"I don't think so. Here's your receipt."

"What kind of movies do you like?"

"Not the ones on the shelf, that's for sure."

"Right," Lea chuckled nervously. "I was wondering 'cause I'm having a night in and I'd like something to watch. It's been a while actually, since I watched a movie…"

"I think I can help," Isa said thoughtfully and slowly rolled back on his seat. He reached for a long, slim microphone attached onto a thick, faintly green square with four white buttons. It was the oldest intercom system Lea had ever seen. The speakers in the small store crackled loudly right before Isa's voice burst through them. "Brian, I have a customer who needs help with movies."

"No, wait, that's really not necessary… I was just‒"

"Don't worry. No one's into movies like Brian is."

"It's just, I was hoping that you'd recommend something. I don't think I need Brian's advice." Lea smiled awkwardly and his hand was back on his neck again.

"Huh." Isa turned to the microphone again. "Brian, never mind. The customer doesn't want to talk to you."

"That's not… what I meant," Lea trailed off and cleared his throat. "Look, listen. Let me just start over. Would you like to go and grab a cup of coffee with me? Some time? Maybe?"

What kind of idiot asks a person out when they're on the clock? Lea held back a wince at his bad timing and braced himself for a blank 'no'.

"Coffee with your cholesterol levels? Doesn't that affect your blood pressure?" Isa looked doubtful and somewhat concerned.

"I don't have any known medical condition that could worsen by consuming coffee."

"Are you allergic to animal products?"

Lea chuckled and tried to hide his amused smile behind his hand, but quickly gave up on it.

"I would love to discuss my eating habits with you over a cup of coffee or tea. I would love that very much…"

"Hmm. I'm closing today," Isa began, eying Lea suspiciously for a second. He tapped his fingers against the old intercom device in his hand. "Is it your treat?"

"Absolutely," Lea was quick to reply, adding a nod for emphasis.

The speakers crackled again.

"Brian, something came up, I need to leave early."

"Isa, what the hell?" Brian's muffled protest came from somewhere in the store. "What am I gonna do if we have robbers?"

Isa leaned the microphone closer. "Use the bat I got you for Christmas. It's in the storage room, right by the doorway."

They heard Brian move around at the back, looking for the bat. Lea was getting curious about this Brian guy who was an expert on movies. He might even try to make his acquaintance some day.

"Remember what we practiced," Isa said after a moments silence. "Did you find it?"

The speakers crackled and let out a loud beep as Brian got on the line.

"Yeah, I've got it. Does this mean you close tomorrow?"

"No, Brian. It doesn't. I'll take your morning shift on Sunday instead."

Lea waited patiently for Isa to work the kinks out of his deal with his co-worker over the intercom system. With each passing moment he grew all the more giddy. Maybe had been alone for too long, but he preferred to think that the 'click' was behind it. The 'click': the sound the universe makes when pieces of the puzzle fall into place and leaves behind the sensation of being at the right place at the right time with the right one.

"I'm sounding like a fortune cookie," Lea sighed at his own thoughts as he stood outside the store, bag of groceries in hand, waiting for Isa to change out of his uniform.

"Ready?" Isa almost skipped out of the store and threw his backpack over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I just have to stop by my place and drop off the groceries. I live a block down that way. I'll be quick, and then you can show me a good coffee place, maybe? I'm new around here."

"Sure."

"So, what were you thinking during your pause?" Lea found himself asking.

"The one after I said I'm closing? Three things: four more hours of doing absolutely nothing or hanging out with a stranger, if you fit the description of the Flower Garden Killer, and 'is it your treat?'" Isa counted them on his fingers as he spoke.

"Wow, there's a killer around here? Well, you don't have to worry about me being one. I faint when I see blood."

"Or maybe you have problems with your blood pressure. It's the most common reason for fainting."

It wasn't until six hours later, after sharing stories like long time friends, and Isa diagnosing Lea with every disease he had seen documentaries on, that it occurred to Lea that they hadn't introduced themselves. It had seemed odd once they did. They stood outside Lea's building, shaking hands as if they'd just gotten out of a formal business meeting. Thankfully, it didn't last long. The handshake evolved into a war; a war of thumbs.

Once Lea was back in his apartment, flopping down onto his bed, he wondered how many lives they had shared before for their souls to recognize each other at first glance.


	2. 02 Your Face

**AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK  
Day 02 - Expressions**

**Summary: **Saïx admires Axel's face.  
**Length:** 372 words

* * *

**Your Face**

For a Nobody, Axel had a multitude of expressions and nuances of emotions that weren't apparent in any of the other members of the Organization. Such things faded with time when the memories of their Somebodies became worn and inaccurate. Axel didn't seem to have that problem. On the contrary, his evolution had most likely taken another route.

On most days, it was annoying. Axel was harder to read than the others because he didn't fit the conclusion of Saïx's studies. He acted human, and Saïx was starting to forget what that meant. He read about human emotions and their manifestations and tried to fit Axel into the theories he found most relevant, but nothing.

On other days, like today, it was endearing. The interplay of every feature of his face was fascinating. His pupils dilated as he recalled the exciting event he was talking about. He raised his eyebrows for emphasis, and though he wasn't outright smiling, the corners of his mouth curved slightly. Observing Axel in this way was like cutting a movie into frames in hopes to reveal secrets that couldn't be unraveled by simply watching it once. The frames told a story of an array of emotions, all which occurred at the same time with varied intensity.

It had to be exhausting to feel so much, and yet, that was what they were all aspiring. Getting their hearts back would give them nuances, the ability to blend emotions and have them all displayed on their faces.

A subconscious and gnawing fear at the back of Saïx's mind cast shadows of doubt on his mission. Maybe he wasn't cut out to handle a heart. Maybe it'd crumble as soon as it settled in his chest. These weren't unfounded fears. There were evidence in his immediate vicinity that made his doubts reasonable. They were all found in Axel's face.

As Axel approached him, Saïx saw the emotions on his face slowly fade until there was nothing left of the interplay he had been admiring before. If he could kill emotions that had survived against all odds in a Nobody that were one of the strongest around, what could he possibly expect of the fragile heart that had once beaten in Isa?


	3. 03 Birthday Stories

**AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK**  
**Day 06: Sun & Moon**

**Summary:** The love Isa's mother has for the universe, turns Lea and Isa into the Sun and the Moon.  
**Genre:** Gen  
**Length:** 570 words

* * *

**Birthday Stories**

At the age of five, Isa's mother told her son the story of the day he was born. Her love for the universe imbued the story and turned it into a tale that Isa took very seriously. Isa, much like the moon, was born in destruction. The most vicious storm in a hundred years had pulled over Radiant Garden the same evening Isa's mother went into labor. Two of the castle's four towers fell to the intimidating and ear-deafening sound of light, thunder, and Isa's first cries. It had seemed a near impossible task for the villagers to recuperate from all of the losses the storm had caused, but time showed that Mother Nature might have had a plan for them. The storm had, according to legend, been just as devastating as the disaster that created the moon, when a sister planet crashed with incomprehensible force into Earth. A new, stronger, viable city rose from the rubble and made it possible for Isa, the little miracle, to grow and flourish in a place where only the sky was the limit for what could be accomplished.

Lea was born much earlier. A whole six months earlier, when the seed for wondrous growth lay in the future, awaiting Isa's arrival. Lea didn't have a story of his birth like Isa's, and so, Isa could only conclude that there was almost nothing special about Lea's birth. Lea was one in a line of many.

They were ten the first time they argued about it. Eleven when Lea had had enough and poured liquid glue onto Isa's hair in art class. Isa had first cried of anger, but it was his cries of sadness that made Lea regret his impulsive actions. Lea regretted them again when they both sat in the principal's office, accompanied by their mothers, sullen looks all around.

As they waited for the principal, Isa's mother told Isa another story with quick glances at Lea to make sure that he, too, was listening. No one could suspect the birth of a sun. What seemed like colorful clouds, with no other purpose than to look pretty, were, in fact, baby chambers for suns in the making. Quietly, the clouds created what would become the center of systems, homes of planets and moons alike. After a million years of the colorful clouds twirling, a sun was born.

"Isn't Lea your friend, Isa?" She asked softly.

"No." Isa quickly shot Lea a glare and pouted.

"The Moon needs the Sun to shine," she tried again.

"Lea, apologize to Isa," Lea's mother said.

Lea slid off his seat and walked over to Isa. With the story fresh in his mind, he felt a little better about their argument earlier. Isa had been born in the destruction left behind after Lea's birth. They had both made an impact on the world, and with that knowledge, Lea could find it in his heart to rise above the hurtful things Isa had said.

"I'm sorry I poured glue in your hair, Isa." He shifted his weight from one foot to another. "I won't make you cry again. I promise."

"… I'm sorry for saying that you were a nobody. I didn't mean it."

"Can we be friends again?" Lea asked cautiously.

"Okay."

By the time the principal came into the office, Lea and Isa were in their corner of the room, re-enacting their explosive births with creative sound effects and lots and lots of twirling.


	4. 04 The Catapult

**AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK**  
**Day 07: First**

**Summary:** Some rides are as fun as they are terrifying.  
**Genre:** Gen  
**Length:** 625

* * *

**The Catapult**

The seats on the long, light-house like tower were elevated enough for their feet to dangle slightly in the air. Isa could still see the line of expectant people waiting to be hurled into the air like raggedy dolls. He had been in that line for twenty minutes before getting here. He had changed his mind at least a dozen times before they were let past the bar and onto, according to Lea, the best seats on the ride.

Isa's heart was beating fast. He was properly buckled up. He had seen to it himself, Lea had made sure, and then a handler came by to be extra sure, and yet it wasn't enough to settle him down. He reached for Lea's hand and exhaled slowly once they laced their fingers together.

"Welcome aboard The Catapult," said the woman in the booth with the controllers. "You're about to be thrown 55 meters up in the air. Spooky, huh? Are you ready?"

Isa shook his head and squeezed Lea's hand.

"Alright," said the woman. "Lean back in your seats and enjoy the ride."

The sound of the machinery behind them changed. It was all Isa noticed before their seats were launched into the air in a speed that couldn't be legal. He let go of Lea's hand at some point to cling onto the padded restraint bar that kept him in his seat. A loud, shrilling scream erupted from his stomach and tore through his throat as they descended as quickly as they had ascended. They had paid for this. They had been in line, looking at others do the same thing. It was just about the stupidest thing he had ever done, and he was gonna kick Lea into the ocean if he survived this.

"Isa! Isa, look! Look!" Lea said while chuckling. They had come to a halt, dangling up in the air. Lea shook Isa's arm until Isa dared to open his eyes.

"I hate you so much." Isa's voice trembled.

"Look at the view," Lea said instead.

The view was beautiful. The bay lay bare before them. The colors seemed to intensify with the adrenaline running through his system. The old buildings on the other side seemed like a distant place he had never seen before, and just as he thought he'd get to take in more of the details, the machinery changed sound again. They had to get down somehow. Isa took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He wanted to be prepared for the drop, but the longer it took, the more unprepared he felt.

That split second when he realized that they were about to fall down was as comical as it was petrifying. It was like being Wile E. Coyote. He got a second to realize what was going to happen before he plunged down the canyons. Isa would have laughed if it hadn't been for the screaming.

Once the ride stopped, and they were on firm ground again, Isa got out of his seat on trembling legs and tried to brush his hair back in place with his fingers.

"That was fun!" Lea said gleefully. "Wasn't it, Isa?"

"You're a goddamn masochist."

"C'mon, admit it. It was fun." Lea grinned.

"It was a little fun."

"Fun enough to do it again?"

"Let's go to the gentler merry-go-rounds for a bit. Let me forget the bad first."

"You know which ride we should get on?" There was a twinkle in Lea's eye that Isa recognized immediately.

"Lea, no."

"Hear me out!"

"No!"

They walked off to the merry-go-rounds, and twenty minutes later, Isa was on another ride, praying for his life while he flipped around in the air until he couldn't tell up from down and right from left.


	5. 05 Morning Beauty

**AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK**  
**Day 09: Flustered**

**Summary:** Axel gives Saïx a reason to move back from the west wing.  
**Genre:** Romance/Gen  
**Length:** ~400

* * *

**Morning Beauty**

Axel glanced at the big clock hanging over the doorway to The Grey Area and smirked. He was sitting comfortably on one of the couches with his feet on the coffee table. Saïx was late by almost two hours. People were getting restless. Saïx had all the mission cards, and without the indirect orders from their almighty Superior, they were all lost, like beheaded hens looking for direction. It was truly a glorious moment. Two hours had to be some kind of record.

Saïx had taken to use the more private shower rooms on the other side of the castle where no one bothered to go. Axel, being the good friend that he was, decided that Saïx needed an incentive to stop being as anti-social as he was and come back to where his comrades, his "family", were. There was only one way Axel knew how.

Fifteen minutes later, it came. The anticipated sound of wet feet against the impeccable floor. Saïx was definitely angry. The weight behind each, heavy step, told no lies. Any other person would be running for the hills at a moment like this, but Axel stayed put, ready to taste sweet victory from where he sat on front row. The sight did not disappoint.

Saïx appeared in the doorway. Water dripped from his long, soaked hair over his very naked body. He held onto the small hand towel Axel had had the courtesy to leave behind to cover his most intimate parts. He was gritting his teeth, scanning the room for Axel, and he didn't have to search for long.

With at least eight sets of eyes on him, Saïx locked his sight on Axel.

"Conference. _Now_." Saïx didn't wait for a reply of any kind. He turned around, putting one hand against the wall to not slip.

Axel was certain that he was digging his own grave, but the wolf whistle was well worth any consequences when Saïx's blush spread all the way down over his shoulders.

For three weeks, Saïx refrained from going back to the west wing to get ready in the mornings. He grumpily walked into the main changing room, a frown on his face and his hair tussled. He'd stand in front of a mirror, brushing his teeth, seemingly still asleep, but with eyes open. No one took notice of him and they went about their business in a way that made Axel wonder if they didn't realize that the most beautiful person in the universe was standing there amongst them.

Axel stared as discreetly as he could, slowly undoing and redoing the laces on his boots until Saïx left.

When Saïx went back to the west wing, Axel considered setting that part of the castle on fire just to get to see Saïx's face in the morning.


	6. 06 A Box for Two

**AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK**  
**Day 12: Promise**

**Summary:** Isa's favorite place on Earth goes against everything Lea believes in, and it threatens Lea's plans for their future.  
**Genre:** Rom/Com/Slice of life  
**Length:** ~1600

* * *

**A Box for Two**

Morbid didn't really cover it. Only a mad person would find tranquility and peace in a coffin, but Isa couldn't understand how people couldn't be at ease in a coffin. The soft white fabric with frills were soft against his hands and the small pillow at the head smelled of polished tree and cheap air fresheners.

Everyone would end up in a coffin. A coffin was the last resting place, so why not take a break from everything now and then and get a glimpse of what it would be like once everything was over?

"You can try to take a break from life, but life ain't gonna take a break from you, not 'til you're six feet under", his grandfather said with a wag of his finger whenever he came across Isa in a coffin.

Isa's grandfather worked as an undertaker. He helped people organize the final ceremony for their loved ones and on certain occasions, he made the coffins. He could be gone for days out in the woods on the islands across the sea to handpick the trees he wanted to use. When he had an order, he would work on it day and night until he finished it. Three out of the five coffins on display were his work. No one had told Isa that. No coffin held a special insignia. Isa just knew by laying in one.

Isa had decided that once he died, he would be buried in a coffin made by his grandfather. Fact was that he had already chosen one. It was a mahogany coffin with carvings on the lid. There were flower garlands down the sides and in the middle of it was a carved inscription in a language his grandfather claimed to have great historical importance. He laughed when Isa asked him about it. Maybe it was a dirty joke, the kind that he liked to hear when he got together with his friends at their local pub. If it was, then that coffin really was perfect.

But his plans for his future were currently crashing and burning.

The Royal Court had ordered a coffin for a funeral. Late one night, a soldier with a scarred face had come by to hold a secretive meeting with Isa's grandfather. He had put a pouch of coins on the table to buy his silence. Isa wasn't meant to know about it, but he had a habit of eavesdropping on his grandfather's meetings, especially when it was with strange costumers that dropped by in the middle of the night. The Princess' grandmother had died under strange circumstances, and Isa would have been fascinated by it, had the old lady not taken his coffin.

"God, Isa, get out of that thing!" Lea's voice echoed in the big display room. Isa heard Lea hurry to where he could see Isa's hands stick out. The number one combatant and non-believer of death had arrived, and he was probably the one who had the biggest problem with Isa's favorite place on Earth.

"How would you get a coffin out of the castle?" Isa turned his attention from the ceiling to Lea with a subtle frown on his face. "She took my coffin and I need to get it back."

"What's it matter anyway? You're not gonna need one." Lea took Isa's hand in his to pull him out of the offensive box, but he only managed to get Isa to sit upright.

"If you help me get it back, I'll get you one just like it. We can even share a lot."

"I've told you a million times, I'm immortal. And, you're not gonna need a damned coffin so stop sleeping in them."

"Why not?" Isa climbed out with a pout.

"If you're not immortal with me, what am I supposed to do for eternity?

"Eternity sounds like a long time, Lea. There aren't enough things to do here to want to live forever."

"What are you talking about? We can go uptown and have ice cream. We can steal apples from the Royal Garden and throw them at the guards."

"Or we can make apple pies…" Isa added, slowly buying into the idea.

"_And_ we can make apple pies," Lea corrected with a grin. "See, if we live forever, we can do both. At some point we should throw apple pies at the guards. Trust me, the possibilities are endless."

Isa looked back at the coffin, holding at the edge of it loosely. Lea always found a way to meddle with the plans he had for the future, and he couldn't even bring himself to be annoyed with him when Lea seemed so proud for having made plans that included them both.

"We'll outlive the King and his heirs and we'll take over the castle. Once we're settled down, we'll have lots of babies who'll run the kingdom for us while we find a way to build a water slide from the top tower out to the gardens."

"I don't think I can have babies."

"Yet. I'm counting on evolution for this one." Lea scratched the back of his neck and laughed sheepishly. He hadn't quite thought it through when he let it slip that there would be baby-making involved in their future, not that Isa seemed to mind.

"I'll stay with you if you give the coffin a go first. If you don't like it, we'll leave it and focus on something else. But you have to try it first."

"What, you mean like straight-up fall asleep in the coffin? I can tell you right now that I don't like it." Lea shuddered at the thought.

"Fine. Have fun eating ice cream and apple pie for eternity by yourself." Isa turned around to climb back into the coffin slowly to give Lea time to change his mind.

"Alright! Alright, I'll do it. I'll sleep in the damned coffin." He sighed loudly and ran his fingers through his hair and jogged on the spot to prepare himself for a night confined in a nightmare.

Isa climbed up with ease and once he sat back in the coffin he caught Lea staring at him with his mouth hanging wide. "What?"

"Are we sleeping in the same coffin or do I have to go and scout for one?" Lea asked carefully to not seem too enticed by the idea all of a sudden.

"Sleep in this one. We have to see if it fits or if we need a bigger one." Isa averted his gaze and hoped that he wasn't blushing. "I figured we could share a coffin to spare the grave diggers the effort of making the lot deeper, instead of the original idea of you and me getting separate coffins but have the same lot, I mean."

"Yeah, no, I totally get what you mean. Somebody's gotta think of the grave diggers' backs. They sure as hell don't given the line of work they chose. Makes sense to me. I'm all for this idea. If we'd give up on eternity, that is," Lea babbled.

"Just get in here already."

They tossed about in the small space until they both lay sideways, facing each other, absentmindedly playing footsie once they had come to a silent agreement that they both had equal amount of pillow space.

"It's gonna be cold," Lea said in whisper.

They could hear the rain outside patter against the roof tiles. The boiler down in the basement didn't make a sound. It had probably given up sometime after lunch, but Isa didn't pay attention to the surrounding sounds when he was alone, at least not as much as he was doing now when he had to strain his hearing to hear over the beating of his heart.

"There's a blanket by my feet."

"That's just all kinds of weird," Lea said in a low chuckle.

"Yeah, it is." Isa smiled and closed his eyes to prepare for sleep.

"What do we do if someone walks in now? We should jump out and yell 'surprise!' just to lighten up the mood."

"Nobody comes in on a Monday."

"Why?"

"Mondays are sad days as it is."

Isa looked at Lea through his eyelashes, hoping that he wouldn't notice. He seemed thoughtful and not at all as uneasy as Isa thought he'd be.

It took courage to be in here and not feel like the world was closing in on you. Coffins were a reminder of one's mortality, and mortality was usually something Lea much rather deny than embrace.

"Isa?"

"Mm?"

"Is this coffin for one person?"

"Yeah."

"Why is it so big?"

"People toss and turn when they sleep, Lea, and they need space to do so."

"Dead people don't move."

"How do you know? You've never been dead."

Lea chuckled again and inched in closer. "Of course not. I am, after all, immortal."

"You're like a broken record," Isa interrupted.

"But I do have it on good authority that dead people don't move."

"We'll have time to figure it out."

"Yeah."

Lea sat up and reached for the light green blanket by Isa's feet to cover them both. It was obviously one of Isa's blankets and not part of the package of death, and as Lea laid back down, slowly reaching for Isa's hand, he wondered how many nights Isa had spent here.

"Isa, if the evolution theory doesn't work out, I'm fine with adoption."

"Me, too."

"So you'll stay with me forever?"

"I don't seem to have a choice." Isa mumbled sleepily. There was no doubt in his mind that Lea was planning all the things they could do for eternity just to prove to him how much fun their forever was going to be, and Isa found himself looking forward to it.


	7. 07 It's a Gut Feeling

**AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK**  
**Day 16: Jealousy**

**Summary:** Isa is on a date and Lea feels betrayed.  
**Genre:** Rom/Com  
**Length:** 1270~

* * *

**It's a Gut Feeling**

Lea stared daggers at the small television by the foot of his bed, maniacally chewing at the popcorn he threw into his mouth. It was a miracle that he hadn't bitten through his lip or bitten off his tongue yet.

"Of course!" He yelled out loud sarcastically, popcorn flying everywhere. He pointed at the TV with his whole arm. "Of course there'd be a million minutes of commercial tonight of all nights! Just let me watch the piss poor movie, you corporate bastards! Who the hell needs a frying pan ten thirty at NIGHT!" He grabbed a pillow and threw it at the TV, and froze when it seemed like the TV would topple over backwards.

Lea sat by himself in his bedroom on a Friday night for one sole reason: Isa was a traitor who had gone on a date with a girl whose name he wasn't allowed to disclose, not even to his bestest friend in the whole wide world. As far as Lea was concerned, they were through. He wasn't going to stick around to see their glorious, for it really was glorious, friendship fall apart at the hands of an unknown girl. Lea wasn't made to be a second priority. It was all or nothing. Ideally, all. Isa had promised that he'd call to keep Lea updated. He had sworn up and down that he'd call no later than nine, but nine o'clock had come and gone, and Lea had been sitting by his phone, keeping everyone in his family off the line, knowing in his heart that Isa would call without fail, and still nothing.

Isa could count himself lucky if Lea ever bothered to give him the light of day. Lea had already planned for every possible scenario. He knew what to say, how to act, when to put on the waterworks. He had a flair for theatrics, and Isa was about to find out how much of a flair he had.

The sudden bang on the window almost had Lea choke on popcorn. He looked at it and saw Isa crouched by it, waving awkwardly. Lea jumped out of bed and walked slowly to the window, glancing at Isa before even considering opening the window.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Lea said coldly, crossing his arms.

Isa stepped inside. He was pale, and he fidgeted nervously where he stood.

"I screwed up big time," he said and gulped. "I think I'm gonna die alone."

The multitude of dramatic and intense scenarios Lea had planned for, vanished into thin air. His arms flopped to his sides and he searched his brain for something to say. Theatrics didn't work out as well when he wasn't angry.

"I was just a little upset…" Lea said hesitantly.

Isa didn't seem to be listening, however. He paced in the room and finally settled down on the side of Lea's bed. He sighed loudly.

"So, I was on a date, right?" Isa began and looked up at Lea quickly. "She was really cute, and I think she liked me. She invited me over to watch a movie. I think it might've been a scary movie, I wasn't paying attention, and we made dinner first so it was pretty late when she put the movie on…"

"Okay?" Lea was doing his best not to pout.

"So, like, we were watching the movie. Everything had gone great up until that point. We were just hanging out, and then… well, she sort of got closer and closer, and I don't know, suddenly, she was really close and… and she kissed me!"

"What?!" Lea gaped.

"I know!" Isa said exasperated, seeming just a teensy bit proud. He sighed again and scratched the back of his neck when the rest of the night flashed before his eyes. "One thing led to another… she was really pushy, and my heart was racing like mad. But I thought it had to be normal, right? Duh, of course my heart's gonna race, right? But thinking back on it now, I think I was having a heart attack or something. It was not pleasant at all. Before I knew it, she was undressing, and she's sitting there in her really white living room. It was almost blindingly white," Isa babbled.

"Point, Isa!" Lea burst out, partly because he wanted to hear the rest of the story, but mostly because he just wanted the story to be over to throw Isa head first into the small television by the foot of his bed.

"So, she's like 'this is my first time so be gentle with me', just like in those dirty movies you watch. At this point, I'm having a stroke or something, like, I can't move."

"Stop saying 'like'!"

"I can't stop! She kept saying 'like' all the time. Do you know how easily that sticks?"

"I know how easily it sticks! That's why I'm telling you to stop saying 'like'!"

"Just let me finish the damned story! Geez. So, there she is, right? And she tosses me a condom and it lands on my lap, and I'm like ‒ shut up ‒ I'm like 'what do I do with this?' and she moves in closer and puts a hand on my knee, and I just… I… I throw up." Isa looked at Lea miserably, waiting for a reaction.

"You what now?" Lea raised his eyebrows, gently squeezing his cheeks together with one hand to seem slightly shocked while he tried hold back a laugh.

"I threw up. Right on her white carpet. And some might have gotten on the coffee table. Everything was happening so fast. One minute I'm making pasta and the next I'm supposed to take someone's virginity? That's too much responsibility. I don't even know what I like. How am I supposed to know what she likes? And though we didn't get far, I still managed to traumatize her for life with what I did."

Laughing now was probably the meanest thing to do, but Isa's story was nothing short of hilarious, and Lea was generally one who wore his feelings on his sleeve. Isa glared at him as Lea laughed silently.

"You're an ass."

"C'mon, it was a little funny!" Lea chuckled and sat down next to Isa. "You're staying over tonight? I promise I won't touch you inappropriately."

"Lea, I swear," Isa began warningly.

"Hey, don't go puking on me now," Lea raised his hands to his sides to show he was no threat, chuckling still.

"Lea!"

Lea laughed loudly when Isa shoved him down onto the bed and straddled him to render him defenseless. At least that was what Lea let Isa think to lull him into a false sense of security. Lea was ready for a counter attack the second Isa even thought of going for his one big weakness: tickling.

"What was her name anyway?" Lea asked, still pinned down.

"Akiko."

"The quarterback's girlfriend?" Lea laughed again, almost wheezing at Isa's sudden loss of color. "If it's any comfort, I don't think she'll tell him about tonight. And if you're worried about dying alone, don't. We'll be together then, too."

"So, what, if I don't get married, you'll marry me?"

"I'll marry you either way."

"You're an idiot."

"Yeah? Would an idiot do this?" Lea kicked his legs up and around to cross his ankles at Isa's throat and pushed. Isa quickly grabbed Lea's legs as he started to fall over the side of the bed. Half a second later, they both tumbled out of bed and onto the floor with a loud thud.

"Definitely an idiot."


	8. 08 Finding Freedom

**AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK**  
**Day 17 - Prison**

**Summary:** A criminal act opens a door to freedom.  
**Genre:** Dark Rom/Com/AU  
**Length:** ~2950

* * *

**Finding Freedom**

The air was getting stuffy in Axel's cubicle office. He pulled on his tie while he read through the user agreement he had to have proofread by the end of his shift; a shift that had officially ended an hour ago. Working overtime was far from his favorite thing, but it was better to sit here than sit at home, trying to find anything to watch on the four channels he could get into his old TV.

"We're leaving now!" A co-worker walked past his desk and gave him a quick pat on his back. "Don't forget Happy Hour tomorrow, Axel."

Axel turned around to give his co-workers a nod and a wave before the door closed behind them. There were only three pitiful workers left now, scattered around the office landscape.

Happy Hour was the best part of the week. Beer was at half-price and he spent all of Friday night drinking with his co-workers who got increasingly interesting with each pint he worked through.

Axel worked for the recycling corporation SRV. It was a private corporation that gathered their clients' garbage and resold the materials that were worth any money. Their clients paid a monthly and juicy fee for the services that SRV provided. Unfortunately, for the clients, the service was performed on SRV:s conditions, which were updated almost as frequently as the monthly fee. You'd think that such a company would have trouble keeping its clients, but the guilt-trip global warming caused the middle class, proved to be very profitable for the company.

Axel's cell phone suddenly vibrated against his desk and the screen lit up blue. He didn't check the caller-ID. It was much easier to assume that it was his boss calling to yell at him about the deadline.

"Sir, I'll have the document with you in five mi -" Axel began as soon as he put the phone to his ear, but he stopped when the voice saying his name registered with him.

"Axel?"

"Who's this?" Axel gulped and looked around to see where the other two were. He had an inkling as to who this was, but the likelihood of him being right was low.

"It's me. Saïx."

"S-Saïx?"

"Yeah, are you busy?"

The sudden hard beating in Axel's chest took him by surprise. Nothing in his life made his heart beat like this. His current life was a straight emotional line; there were no surprises, only the same everyday, and the sudden reminder that he had had a life once upon a time, had come at an odd occasion.

"What… how did you get my number?"

"I know people," was Saïx's simple response in an eerily calm voice. "Listen, I need your help."

"With what?"

It was a dangerous question to ask. It would have been easier to just say no and add a cushioning lie about being busy, but in the ten years that had passed, Axel had lowered his guard, and when life was this achingly dull, the excitement Saïx offered was more promising than terrifying.

"I've killed someone."

~o~

Most people would hang up if they received a phone call about murder. It was the most sensible thing to do. No one wanted a dead body weighing on their conscience, especially when said conscience later had infinite opportunities to remind you about that one thing overshadowing every other bad thing you've ever done.

But Axel was bored, and Happy Hour was still a day away.

Somewhere, in the midst of frightening scenarios flashing through his mind, was the memory of Saïx's less than conventional sense of humor, and maybe the murder he claimed to have committed was a joke.

Axel hurried down the block from where he worked and crossed the almost empty parking lot where Saïx had said he'd be waiting. Axel slowed down as soon as he could make out Saïx's silhouette against a car. It was strange seeing him in the dim light.

They had been inseparable in the past. Beautiful associations came with a phrase like that, but their relationship had been the closest thing to wicked. They constantly dared each other to do increasingly more dangerous and challenging stuff. They had tested each other's boundaries without any consideration for those who got caught in the middle of their games, and truth be told, it had been exhilarating.

"Took you long enough."

Saïx moved away from where he had been leaning against a brand new car. Axel walked closer to the car with a gulp and a quick look at the tiers to see if the body of the car had sunk with the dead weight of the murdered person he thought Saïx would have tossed in the trunk.

"Ten years, huh?" Saïx said and reached for a cigarette in his pocket.

"Time flies." Axel agreed with a slow nod. The palms of his hands were sweaty, and the hard beating in his chest was starting to become uncomfortable. "I thought you'd given that up," he said and gave the cigarette in Saïx's mouth a quick glance.

"I picked it back up again. And you? I never saw you as the nine-to-five type of guy." Saïx laughed softly and exhaled the smelly smoke from the cigarette.

"Why'd you call me?" Axel asked.

"No one else picked up the phone."

"So you were serious then?"

"About the dead guy? Yeah."

Saïx opened the trunk to reveal a silver-haired man wrapped in blankets. Saïx didn't look at him. He stepped away as soon as he had opened the trunk to let Axel have a look. By the time Axel closed the trunk again, Saïx had finished his cigarette and was reaching for a second one.

"Dead as doornail." Axel ran his fingers through his hair and rested both of his hands at the back of his head to alleviate himself from the sudden strain in his neck.

"So you'll help me bury him? I can't do it alone. I don't do well with dead bodies."

"And I do?" Axel looked up at Saïx, suddenly aggravated by the situation that he had been put in. "We haven't talked _in years_ and you call me to _bury_ _a body_? You know what I should do? I should go to the police and get you arrested. That's what I'll do. You can't just come waltzing back into my life and put this shit on my plate. I have too much going for me to become an accomplice."

"Yeah? You're gonna turn me in?"

Saïx walked up to him with an amused look in his eyes. He waited to stand close to Axel before he blew the smoke out of his mouth and nose. He smiled at the uncertain nod he got from Axel in response, and he took another drag from his cigarette before he leaned in closer to completely claim Axel's space.

"Are you scared? You were fearless once, remember? Where did that go?"

Axel couldn't respond. One, because he honestly didn't know, and two, because he was far too fascinated by the way Saïx's lips curved around the cigarette in his mouth to willingly pay attention to anything else.

His six-month long dry spell made itself reminded at seeing the one person who had never allowed him to run away from a challenge. Axel was suddenly not thinking as clearly as he would like to regarding the corpse in the trunk of the car. The ethics of the situation flew out of the window when he could redeem the cowardice of his seventeen year old self and bury a body in exchange for Saïx.

~o~

They had decided that the best place to bury and hide the corpse was in the forest by the mountains. It was at least a three hour drive, not counting all the times they stopped because Saïx thought he was going to throw up. An hour after meeting up in the parking lot, they were still in the city, albeit nearing the outskirts of it.

"Let's stop for a drink and some food," Saïx suggested.

"We have a dead body in the trunk. I really think we should keep going."

"Let's stop for a drink and some food," Saïx said again, sternly, and with a glare that promised pain if Axel didn't comply.

They stopped by a bistro/gas station. There was a surprising amount of customers given the time and day. A waitress showed them to a small table by a corner and gave them each a menu. They both settled for sloppily made hamburgers, fries, and large beers.

"So, what do you do for a living?" Saïx asked halfway through dinner and leaned back against the wall behind him.

"Office stuff. Mostly proofreading, and reports."

"Sounds fun," Saïx yawned.

"You gonna tell me what happened or this is just routine for you?"

"Are you insinuating that I'm a murderer?" Saïx narrowed his eyes as Axel. "I'll have you know that this is my first kill, and I'm not sure I did it on purpose."

Axel looked around anxiously and leaned against the table. "Did you run him over with your car?"

"Technically, it's not my car. It's his."

"We're driving around in a stolen car?!"

"The guy in the trunk is my boyfriend," Saïx said easily and held up his left hand to show Axel the goldring on his ring finger. "We were engaged to be engaged. His car is my car, although, again, technically his car."

"That looks like real gold." It was the first thing Axel could think of saying. His eyes were wide and he had to hold onto the table to not lose his cool.

"It is real gold."

"I thought you said you didn't want to get tied down. Live life like a free bird and stuff?"

Axel grabbed a napkin and pulled at the corners until he had a small pile of napkin beside his plate. It had been Saïx's main principle; to never be tied down by anyone or anything. He wanted to go wherever he wanted whenever he pleased without any consideration for anyone else but himself. Any other type of life would suffocate him. Axel had never dared to ask for more than he was given, afraid that Saïx would feel entrapped at the smallest request for more. Axel glared at the goldring with disdain, trying not to grit his teeth.

"I'm free as long as I do what I want."

"Did you want to kill him?"

"You're such a bore when you get serious, you know that? I forgot that side of you." Saïx got up and grabbed one last fry. "Let's go. We've got stuff to do."

Axel obediently followed.

~o~

The forest was dark. It didn't help being in a glade. Axel was digging as fast as he could, letting his anger do most of the work. Saïx was doing the same; he let Axel's anger do the work. He sat on the ground against a tree, trying to keep his attention focused on Axel, but every once in a while he glanced at the body of his boyfriend on the other side of the growing hole that was to become his grave.

"You're gonna help me with the guy or not?" Axel pushed himself out of the hole in the ground with a grunt. He dangled with his feet and looked down on his handiwork while Saïx took his time to answer.

"I'm thinking 'no'. I've had enough for today."

Saïx lay down on the ground, facing the patch of sky above them while Axel dragged the corpse by its blankets until it rolled into its grave unceremoniously. The man's silver hair had led Axel to believe that he was middle-aged or older, but as some of the blankets fell to the sides, Axel got to see some of the man's face. He didn't seem that much older. His dark skin was impeccable, even with the large bruise on his temple. His face radiated authority, and for the first time since the phonecall, Axel asked himself what the hell he was doing out here. The sound of Saïx drumming with his fingers against his chest reminded Axel of the answer.

"Is he buried yet?" Saïx asked impatiently.

"He's in the ground. I have to cover him up. Do you have any last words for him?"

"Not really."

"You gonna throw that ring in?"

"No."

"If the police gets involved, they could trace that ring back to him. Better get rid of any possible evidence. Besides, you don't want to be reminded of this every time you look at that ring, do you?"

"I'm keeping the ring," Saïx said with determination, his focus never wavering from the sky.

Axel covered the hole with the soil he had dug up. Thinking of that ring and filling in the blanks of why it mattered to Saïx at all was more than enough to forget the remorse he should be feeling at making himself an accessory to murder. If Saïx hadn't put this man in the ground, Axel would've gladly done it. It's what he told himself despite being a man who lived every day of his life longing for Happy Hour every Friday with the same old people who told the same old stories. Axel lived the imprisonment Saïx feared.

"You were the first one I called, y'know." Saïx glanced at Axel, watching him brush the dirt from his pants. "Ten years later and you're still the only numbskull I'd call for something like this. It's unbelievable," Saïx added in a not so quiet mumble.

"I did promise to always be there for you." Axel sat down beside Saïx and did the same thing he did way back then. He slid his fingertips across Saïx's hand softly and up his lower arm. He never got further than to Saïx's elbow; that'd be crossing a line. The ball was on Saïx's court, and Axel always hoped that Saïx would take the lead from thereon.

"You promised a lot of stuff. You were gonna be free with me, but you thought that meant that we'd belong to each other, which completely ruined the whole idea of being free to begin with. You've always wanted the house with the picket fence and the two point five kids. You're a bore, Axel."

"I don't want that anymore," Axel found himself whispering. He wasn't paying much attention to what Saïx was saying. This moment was it for him, for them. It was clear to him that he had to choose between his predictable, comfortable life and the hellride by Saïx's side. While he should have been comparing the thrill of a yearly bonus check and the thrill of driving a stolen car of a dead man he had buried, he gazed at Saïx.

He leaned down. He draped his lips over Saïx's in a soft, tentative kiss. It was his most courageous act since that time he told off a guy for cutting in line. This act was, by far, much more pleasurable, and it opened a door of infinite possibilities. At least, that's what Axel thought until Saïx pushed him away.

"What the hell are you doing? We're at a funeral, for fuck's sake. I'm mourning. Could I get a minute to mourn?" Saïx wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and looked back at Axel in complete disbelief.

"Wh… you mean like a literal minute, or what?" Axel asked dumbly.

"Just be quiet."

The minute lasted for at least an hour. Axel didn't get to kiss Saïx again, and Saïx didn't seem interested in bringing up the subject. They walked back to the car in silence. Axel's moment of thunder had come and gone. It had been as fleeting as his thoughts of heroic attempts at saving himself from the mundane. By this time tomorrow, he'd by his front door, swaying drunkenly as he searched for his keys like every Friday.

He had one hand on the seatbelt when Saïx grabbed him by the back of his neck. Was this the end? Axel's life flashed before his eyes in a millisecond, and he realized he had been behind bars these past ten years; always settling for mediocrity all the while knowing that he was capable of so much more. Saïx was right; he was a bore. Axel would have explored the idea further had it not been for Saïx's plump, wet lips against his own. His brief flirtation with death dissolved into whatever he needed to pull Saïx onto his lap and squeeze his ass with both hands. He didn't think he'd get more turned on than he was until Saïx lowered the back of the seat and sat up slowly while putting his long, blue hair into a ponytail.

"There's only one rule, Axel," Saïx breathed and squeezed Axel's cheeks together to have his lips look like the mouth of a surprised goldfish.

"To have fun?" Axel suggested.

"Don't get possessive, wiseass. I might just crack your skull with an ashtray if you do."

"That's the rule?" Axel asked, getting impatient.

"That's the rule."

"Terms accepted."

Axel sat up quickly, never once considering taking his hands off Saïx's perfect ass. It had taken him far too long to get here to not cease every single moment that passed by. Axel kissed Saïx with the hunger and thirst of a famished man. Each fervent and desperate touch brought Axel closer to both a metaphorical and literal release from an ten year incarceration. He found complete and blissful liberation in Saïx, momentarily forgetting his own name as he said 'goodbye' to the old and 'hello' to the new.


	9. 09 Sunset Years

**AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK**  
**Day 22 - Hair**

**Summary:** Lea's getting old and he's afraid it shows.  
**Genre:** Rom/Slice of life  
**Length:** ~560

* * *

**Sunset Years**

Lea scrunched his face while looking into the bathroom mirror with slight disdain at all the wrinkles that emerged. He knew that he wasn't as young as he used to be, but he didn't like the reminders on his face. It had been years since he had stood at the brink of death, fighting for his life and for Isa's, too. They had both exchanged their lives as warriors for something more domestic once their bodies started to remind them of their mortality. It was the domestic life that had made Lea much too conscious about the subtle wrinkles on his face and his slowly receding hairline.

He loved his hair. It was thick, red with small, streaks of gray that always called for attention. Lea was doing everything in his power to keep his luscious mane. He used everything from expensive, all-natural shampoos and conditioners, to olive oil and eggs. Some in his circle of his friends went as far as calling him vain for caring for his hair as much as he did, but not everyone were born lucky enough to have gorgeous and thick hair in wind and high water.

Isa was one of the lucky ones. He couldn't care less about his hair, and yet it grew like weed. He cut his hair short not long after he was rescued from Xehanort, using nothing but a sword to make it happen. For some time Isa had the same disdain for his hair that Lea has for his wrinkles, but then he discovered the buzzcut. He goes to the barber shop nowadays whenever he feels his hair needs to be trimmed down. It had taken some getting used to for those around him, but Isa knew what he wanted and didn't budge an inch. Lea was exactly the same.

"What's taking you so long?" Isa stopped by the doorway when he saw that Lea was still in the bathroom. "Stop doing that with your face. You'll only get more wrinkles."

"I'm just counting them. It looks like there's a hundred of them now." Lea glanced at Isa's reflection in the mirror before he turned his attention back to himself.

"Come here," Isa said and walked inside, urging Lea to turn around and face him. "Let's do a blind test. Ready?"

Isa cupped Lea's face in his hands as soon as Lea turned around. Lea chuckled as Isa gently rubbed his face against Lea's and seemed to be doing a headcount of the wrinkles he felt.

"What's the verdict?" Lea asked after a moment.

"Definitely a life well lived," Isa replied thoughtfully.

"I'm only forty. I still have a long, long way to go. Besides, most of these wrinkles are thanks to you."

"Mmm," Isa hummed.

"I was gonna take a shower. Care to join this old man?"

"Depends on how long you'll be shampooing your hair."

"Actively shampooing, less than a minute. But I will be wearing my shower cap after that. I got a new conditioner with an improved formula."

"Shower cap, huh?" Isa smiled and softly kissed Lea.

"And shower sandals."

"The baby blue pair?" Isa laughed.

"Damn right. I'll be irresistible."

The grin on Lea's face enticed Isa into leaving a trail of butterfly kisses on his Lea's lips and on the small wrinkles at the sides of Lea's mouth.


	10. 10 Think of Me

**AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK**  
**Day 23 - Flower**

**Summary:** Some gestures speak volumes. [canonverse]  
**Genre:** Rom/Angst  
**Length:** 1080~

* * *

**Think of Me**

It was hard to say when it all had begun, the sarcastic comments, the glares, the tension. It had probably started when they fell. When darkness started to fill the cracks that emerged between them and became the glue that held them together. The stress had taken time to show, and there was nothing to do but hope that they they were glued on tight enough to make their bond last until the end.

Saïx dug his heels into the floor as he walked forward, and slammed a large door open. He stepped out on Naught's Approach, taking deep breaths to calm down. Axel would most likely never admit to it, but something had changed him for the worse at Castle Oblivion. There wasn't a question Saïx could think of that Axel wouldn't answer with sarcasm spewing out of him in abundance. Axel glared at him when he thought he wasn't looking, any other time Axel would refuse to look at him as if he was a monster under the bed that would vanish without acknowledgment. It usually worked.

A Dusk appeared behind a corner and swayed in front of Saïx to block his way.

"Get out of my way," Saïx said through his teeth.

Three more Dusks appeared to sway in front of him in a quiet protest.

Saïx had a threat of exceeding violence on the tip of his tongue, but it died out as soon as he peered behind the small and weak wall of Dusks. A Berserker appeared soundlessly, surrendering its weapon by putting it by its feet. It held its armored arms out to its sides and remained in that position until Saïx approached it slowly.

"What are you doing?" Saïx asked, talking to it out of habit.

He didn't wait for a reply. He looked behind it with a sweeping glance and saw nothing out of the ordinary, just bleak tile in white and gray. The Dusks flocked around him and the giant Berserker knelt behind them.

"What are you looking at?" Saïx found himself asking after a short moment. A Dusk pointed into a small, narrow corner where the tile was worn and fragile. Saïx blinked a few times, and then, he saw it; a sprout. It was a dark shade of green with two soon to be leaves at its sides.

A miracle, Saïx thought with a gulp.

Nothing grew here. There was no soil, only pavement and empty buildings. They lived in a fake world that was stuck in limbo between what was and what wasn't. Flowers were, and should therefore not be here, and yet, here it was.

"Does anyone else know?"

They all shook their heads.

"Good. Let's keep it that way. And, protect it," Saïx cleared his throat. "Just… do it inconspicuously. Clear?"

The collective and decisive nod was good enough a reply.

-x-

The brittle sprout grew into a strong, sturdy, yellow Pansy. Between Saïx, the four Dusks and the giant Berserker, they cared for the flower, brought it water when it seemed to wither, and kept it safe from the unpredictable storms.

The flower brought Saïx a strange sense of peace whenever he laid eyes on it. He'd sit down across from the yellow Pansy every once in a while. He made drawings of it in his notes. The dim light in this world always struck it in different angles, and sometimes, not at all. What did it feel on those days? Regret? Surely any living thing would come to feel regret at having to grow in a place so barren, especially a flower.

Saïx drew thin curves from the flower's roots drawn on his clipboard. He imagined that the roots grew aimlessly, down through the castle and out through the empty city in search for a connection with a living thing. Plants, like humans, communicate. Plants, like humans, scream for help in dire times. If the Pansy were to be plucked, it would send electromagnetic signals of distress to its peers: I am dead. Mourn me.

No one would be there to hear it scream.

The curves stretched all around Saïx's notes. If the Pansy's roots got to grow long and far enough, they might end up by him. They might break through the walls and lay claim on his office, and maybe, Saïx would be the one to hear its dying cry when its time came, subconsciously telling him that he was, despite it all, alive.

-x-

Axel dragged his feet to Saïx's office like a dog in shame. In the silence of The Castle That Never Was, Saïx could hear him long before he saw his red mane in the doorway.

They had found Roxas in a virtual world where he was prepared to be absorbed by Sora. Their opponents would succeed at this rate. Saïx was doing everything in his power for that not to happen, and Axel wanted part in it to save his best friend.

"What do you want?" Saïx asked tiredly when Axel just stood there, staring.

"Look," Axel began with a sigh. "We haven't been on very good terms lately."

"I hadn't noticed." Saïx glanced at him quickly.

"I know you think I've strayed, and that I've forgotten our plan, but… I haven't. I just haven't agreed with a lot of your methods, and honestly, you've scared me sometimes. With your absolute orders and whatnot, but I admit that I've been wrong about you, too. You're trying to help Roxas, and for that I'm grateful." Axel looked away quickly, rubbing the back of his neck as he approached Saïx's desk. "I got you something. A peace offering."

Axel put a simple white pot on Saïx's desk. It smelled of freshly watered soil, and in the middle of it, the strong, sturdy, yellow Pansy rose proudly.

"I had to break some tile out there to get it out properly. Some of your Nobodies might get a scolding, but I figured it'd be worth it."

"Yeah…" Saïx touched the petals with the tip of his fingers, and tried not to seem moved.

"Just keep it near to know when to water it and stuff."

"I will."

Axel turned to leave.

"I'll see you around," he said with a small wave.

Saïx didn't answer. He stared at the flower, amazed by its beauty and resilience. The flower had other things to say that weren't messages of death, Saïx realized as he heard a strikingly familiar voice whisper to him through the flower: think of me.


	11. 11 Ceiling Painting

**AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK**  
**Day 26: Lazy Afternoons**

**Summary:** On a hot summer day, Lea and Isa turn their attention to the ceiling.  
**Genre:** Gen/Com  
**Length:** ~580

* * *

**Ceiling Painting**

The floor in Lea's kitchen was ice cold. It was a life saver during August when Radiant Garden just about melted in the insufferable summer heat. Lea and Isa lay on the kitchen floor, staring up at the ceiling while munching away on their sea salt ice cream.

"We should paint the ceiling," Lea said. "A sunset, with lots of plants around. It'll be like lying in the forest."

"With the horizon in the middle of the sky?" Isa asked thoughtfully. "Your mom won't like it."

"I'll tell her it's a birthday present." Lea shrugged and took a bite of his melting ice cream.

Days like these were, fortunately, rare. On days when their shoes didn't melt against the asphalt, they preferred to lay around on a lawn underneath a tree, ideally near the castle. Two of the guards found their summer laziness upsetting. From midday to late afternoon, they had the outer courtyard shift, which meant that they had to pass by Lea's and Isa's favorite lawn. Incidentally, it was the same two guards that kept throwing them out of the castle on the few occasions they had managed to get inside.

"We should paint a blue sky with a couple of fluffy clouds," Isa suggested instead.

"But I want it to be orange."

"It'll be butt ugly. Nobody wants an orange ceiling in the kitchen."

"At least it's original." Lea turned his head slightly to the side to eye Isa for opposing his good idea. "We can paint it half orange and the other half blue."

"Awful."

"Then we'll do it orange."

"Why not a calming blue instead?"

The both looked to the doorway when they heard Lea's mom at the front door. She stumbled inside as she took off her shoes and sighed loudly, pulling her long, red hair back into a ponytail. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Lea and Isa lay on the floor, eating at their ice creams while looking at her.

"What are you doing there, Lea?" She asked.

"Resting."

"Have you cleaned out the shed like you promised?"

"Hi, Mrs. Flynn," Isa greeted with a small wave.

"Hi, Isa. Lea, I've been telling you all week to clean out the shed, or I'll throw it all away."

"But it's too hot, mom. Besides, I told Isa that we had to, but he doesn't wanna help me sort it out," Lea tried to sound pitiful.

"It's all junk, Lea," Isa said and turned his attention back to the white ceiling.

"How can you say that? Our space rocket is in there."

"Failed space rocket. It didn't fit either of us and Arlene stole all of our fireworks."

Mrs. Flynn walked up to them and looked down at them, resting her hands onto her hips. "Why are you here, lying on the floor?"

"Because Mr. Flenderson wouldn't let us lay down in the diary section," Lea replied and wiped the drops of ice cream on his face with the back of his hand.

"It's true. We were barely there for ten minutes," Isa added.

"Barely," Lea agreed.

"And we even bought a six-pack sea salt ice cream when we easily could've gotten them from Scrooge McDuck for half price," Isa continued.

"Easily," Lea agreed again.

Mrs. Flynn sighed, smiling softly. She sat down on the floor and laid down next to Lea.

"We should paint the ceiling," Mrs. Flynn said after a couple of minutes in silence.


	12. 12 Night Light

**AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK**  
**Day 28 - Bright**

**Summary:** There's nothing like a good night sleep.  
**Genre:** Rom/Slice of lfie  
**Length:** 300~

* * *

**Night Light**

It had taken some time to get used to the night light. Lea was certain that Isa had chosen one that was usually meant for lighthouses, something which Lea jokingly pointed out every now and then to coax a smile out of Isa before he fell asleep. Roxas had warned him about disrupted sleep patterns, but a good sleeping mask took care of that. The most important thing was that Isa could sleep for more than a few minutes at a time now. The light was something safe to wake up to when his dreams were plagued with nightmares of Xehanort and the final battles that had almost become Isa's death.

Lea snuggled up closer, pressing his forehead against the curve of Isa's neck lightly. They had tried a lot of other methods before they landed on this one. Isa had refused to acknowledge his insomnia at first. He slept for five minutes at a time, forced awake by the things he saw. Lea had suggested they'd sleep in shifts, and it had worked for a couple nights. Isa found some comfort in falling asleep in Lea's embrace, knowing that Lea was watching over him, but the method wore them both out. They tried medication, hypnosis, exercise, therapy, and then, Dr. Even unironically suggested they'd try a night lamp.

The look of surprised happiness in Isa's green eyes when he woke up in the morning after that first night of fairly good sleep had brought Lea to tears. He had run his fingers through Isa's bed hair and showered him with kisses all the while Isa smiled sleepily. It had been a great victory. Little by little they were taking back the normalcy that Xehanort had stolen from them, and the beautiful smile Lea had seen that morning only grew brighter with each passing day.


End file.
